anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
