My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
