Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
