Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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