Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
