I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
