Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
