I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
