Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
