My hand turned me down
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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