Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
