Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
