PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
where are my pants?
in the oven.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
