My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
