A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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