Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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