Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
we should paint friendship bongs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize