I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
