today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
