ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
