I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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