she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
