I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
