I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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