alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
