she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
