so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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