Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
