No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
