I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
