we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
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