OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
how do you play pong handcuffed?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
