STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
