I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
