We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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