So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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