i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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