So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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