I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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