I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
