smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
