i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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