After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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