Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that