If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Barsexuality is the new black.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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