Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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