He is an equal opportunity slut.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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