its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
