i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize