Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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