Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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