new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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