At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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