My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
