Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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