If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
