So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
