shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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