i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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