pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
