remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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