3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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