Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
