If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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