It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
