Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
