I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
