Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
