She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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