He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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