Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
