is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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